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Change Part Deux

Hope you are recovering from an amazing Holiday and ready to get started with new beginnings! this is the second part of our change series. This one deals with the slightly tough topic of friends. Give a watch/listen then let us know your thoughts and experiences. We want to know what has worked for you in this area! Here’s part one.

22 replies on “Change Part Deux”

Thank you for this video. I am 72lbs gone on my weight loss journey and i have friends who are now not very comfortable around me. I have women at church that avoid me. It has been a really strange experience. But it has brought me and my baby sister much closer, we now do 5K’s… Thanks for all the information you two give… you are such an inspiration.

Thanks so much Cassie! I think you’re on to something with your sister. You have to find the people that your new journey and success brings you. Run those races together. Enjoy the health you share!

Cassie- thats awesome!!! My sister and I bond over fitness too- we’ve always been really close but there is nothing like a healthy journey to bring you even closer!! there’s no one I’d rather huff and puff and whine next to than my sister!! There should be sibling 5Ks! that would be so awesome!

This is such a great topic! I dealt with this for several years. It’s so hard to lose weight when your friends and family are not on board. My family and friends are thin, for the most part, and don’t think much about nutrition, ever. Not to mention the drinking on weekends! Just poor habits, and lots of pressure.
The biggest change for me came when I met my boyfriend, now fiancee. He was obese throughout his childhood and teen years, and lost 100 pounds in college. When I met him, he was at a healthy weight–I would have never known he had ever been overweight. I’ll never forget our third date– when he decided to have a real talk with me about the other “relationship” in his life– his relationship to food (his words, not mine). He let me know that he used to have a major addiction to food, but he had turned his life around and was determined not only to keep the weight off, but not to let the fear/love of food control his life. And he doesn’t. While my decision to lose weight was mine alone (he never pressured me about my weight or made me feel like I needed to be thinner), he has been such a rock in my life when it comes to my weight loss journey! He’s always there encouraging me, cooking for me, going to the gym with me, steering me away from candy and unnecessary treats… 🙂 He’s just the best. I know he’d love me even if I had stayed 245 pounds for the rest of my life, but it’s amazing to have him completely on board with me through this journey! It’s such a joy to know that health and fitness will always be something we value throughout our lives, and that we will always be there to keep each other accountable.

That’s so great Renee! I have a similar support in my life with my husband Ben who lost over 100 lbs at home while I was on the Ranch. He helps me- we help each other. That is vitally important!!

I have a hard time with this topic. My dad urges me to lose weight but then says, “get a refill on that coke” …also I get in a funk at times and will eat my feelings. I used to be fit but had back surgery last year and immediately began to rapidly gain weight.

He says that because the first costs money and then refills are free. NOT necessarily good logic but avoid it altogether by trying tea instead. Then when he says “get a refill on that tea” you’ll be fine with it.

On facebook, bad apples tend to be great at weeding themselves out. Just live according to our own hearts first before we reach out to them. We’ll be left with the best and we might be better at identifying red flags more quickly.
Even if we make a mistake or two now and again, real friends will likely talk it over.

This is such an important part of weight loss/healthy lifestyle change that I don’t think a lot of people think about or address!! Thanks for bringing it up! I have lost 40 lbs and want to lose another 20 to get to my goal. While I have some very, very supportive friends and family, I also have people in my life that have been openly jealous and do try to sabotage my good habits. Fortunately it doesn’t get me down- I have come too far to let others rain on my parade! Having experienced it for myself, I also have to reign myself in and not become that person to someone else! It’s hard to see someone succeed faster than you, but instead of becoming the person who sabotages I try my best to use it as healthy competitive fuel in my fire!! I think we can all be supportive of each other in our changes and cheer each other on in our successes!!! I lost that 40 lbs with the support of friends who were nothing but awesome cheerleaders for me and i do my best to be that cheerleader right back to them and to any of my friends and family that are on their journey!!

Thank you Olivia and Hannah for being a huge inspiration on my journey!!!!

Thank-you so much for bringing the topic of change up. I am determined to make changes in my life that are lasting for the rest of my life. I have regained and lost 15 lbs this yr alone and my social network is very non supportive, and even my family. You both gave very valuable advice that will help me.

But how do you handle someone living with you (brother) sabotaging your diet on a regular basis but continues to make nasty comments about being overweight?

hey Ali, as a guy maybe I can help here? then again maybe not. but my idea… Surprise him by apologizing about not sticking to your diet. give him a touché and say you need to do better at sticking to your diet. that might embarrass him enough for him to correct himself on both counts. hope it works!

What about the friend who always jumps on the bandwagon with you and then always falls off and wants to take you down too by sabotaging?… I’ve resorted in hiding the fact. I’ve gotten so I want it to be just my own thing. Something I do alone. For myself. I know having a support system and a buddy improves the odds of success but I just am tired of it. We are neighbors and have been friends for 30 years. It’s tough to sneak it but I don’t want to share it with her this time. Is that wrong of me?

Thank you ladies! Just what I needed to hear. In the past year I got laid off from my “dream job”, so I focused in and lost 60lbs, completed an Olympic triathlon, became a personal trainer and health coach, and… lost my best friend and the majority of my other friends. Broke my heart. But now, I have a new BFF that is a co-worker personal trainer and we are starting a wellness company together! Its true that when you make a lifestyle change your lifestyle truly changes.

Sometimes I have found myself being the saboteur, not maliciously, but like bringing sweet things around my coworkers who are trying to lose. But I have also been attacked by saboteurs too. My mother in law is the worst, she insists on dessert all the time even if you say no. She would especially do it if she knew I was trying to lose weight. I need to lose about 150 lbs, i feel like it will never happen. You two are a great inspiration and I have admired you since I first watched your journey to the finish. Maybe one day that will be me…Thanks again!

It amazes me how perfect the timing of this was. I have been thinking about all the different relationshis in my life and whether they are helping or hindering me. Many of them have been hindering me and I don’t really know how to go about discussing this with them. I think the main problem is because it isn’t a problem with my friends but rather with my family. They have a hard time being supportive of my entire weightloss journey. They always tell me that I need to spend more time with them and be less concerned with working out all the time. I fell and I started listening to them and I gained some of the 50 pounds I lost previously. Although I just married 3 weeks ago and my husband has been super supportive of me wanting to return to that lifestyle. He has even offered to join me on this journey. I am incredibly greatful for him but I’m not quite sure how to bring it up with my parents, whom are obese themselves and should start a healthy lifestyle of their own. Any advice on how to talk about this with them?

It amazes me how perfect the timing of this was. I have been thinking about all the different relationshis in my life and whether they are helping or hindering me. Many of them have been hindering me and I don’t really know how to go about discussing this with them. I think the main problem is because it isn’t a problem with my friends but rather with my family. They have a hard time being supportive of my entire weightloss journey. They always tell me that I need to spend more time with them and be less concerned with working out all the time. I fell and I started listening to them and I gained some of the 50 pounds I lost previously. Although I just married 3 weeks ago and my husband has been super supportive of me wanting to return to that lifestyle. He has even offered to join me on this journey. I am incredibly grateful for him but I’m not quite sure how to bring it up with my parents, whom are obese themselves and should start a healthy lifestyle of their own. Any advice on how to talk about this with them?

It amazes me how perfect the timing of this was. I have been thinking about all the different relationship in my life and whether they are helping or hindering me. Many of them have been hindering me and I don’t really know how to go about discussing this with them. I think the main problem is because it isn’t a problem with my friends but rather with my family. They have a hard time being supportive of my entire weightloss journey. They always tell me that I need to spend more time with them and be less concerned with working out all the time. I fell and I started listening to them and I gained some of the 50 pounds I lost previously. Although I just married 3 weeks ago and my husband has been super supportive of me wanting to return to that lifestyle. He has even offered to join me on this journey. I am incredibly grateful for him but I’m not quite sure how to bring it up with my parents, whom are obese themselves and should start a healthy lifestyle of their own. Any advice on how to talk about this with them?

Hi Hannah and Olivia,

I have to say that your words of encouragement mean a lot to me right! I am going through exactly what you and Hannah are talking about. BAD friends… I have been put in a bad situation with one of my friends that just doesn’t get it or seem to want to understand. It is very hard to step back and reflect on the value of the friendship and try not to be in denial. My boyfriend has been giving me advice but listening to you girls talk about this has helped me get a better perspective without getting emotional about it, like I was with my boyfriend. You two are awesome!!!

This was such a hard lesson for me to learn. Some people don’t understand the change you have and are trying to make. That usually stems from their own I securities. But you stand strong and always invite them along for the ride, it’s their decision whether they want to change with you or against you! WE want to change with you so let the fun begin!!! XO

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